Playbill: Cast of Characters

Cast of Characters:

My husband and I have a daughter who was adopted from China in 2007. She was 11 months old when we picked her up. Her birthday is April 17, 2007. When she was a baby, I had bibs made for her that say "MADE IN CHINA." I thought it was funny. You might not. Should you choose to stop reading now, I will completely understand and ultimately, I will never know. If you instead choose to continue on this journey of intermittent inappropriateness and decide to further explore my spin on parenting, please note that I will hereby refer to this daughter as “Sweet Pea.”

We have another daughter, a biological daughter, who was born on June 25, 2009. This daughter came into this world via emergency C-Section. I didn’t see that coming and it upset me. My OB swore that the scar would be covered by a bikini. I think the last bikini he ever saw was the one his Grandma wore because that is the only kind I can imagine covering the scar. I told him that and I was really loud about it. I will hereby refer to this daughter as “Lovey.”

We also have a stubby-tailed Golden Retriever who is somewhere between nine and ten years old. We are not the ones who clipped his tail. He came that way and although everyone’s initial reaction is “Ohhh, that is so sad,“ they learn to love the stub. We got our Golden in 2003 through Golden Retriever Rescue. He is almost always stinky, he will rip down an entire door frame during a thunderstorm and he eats poop. Outside of those teeny-tiny shortcomings, I don’t know of a sweeter dog anywhere. I will hereby refer to him as “Floyd.”

My husband is very special. I often say that if I wasn’t married to him, I probably wouldn’t be married. I am like a spinning top pretty much all the time. I have a “pause” button, but no “off” button. There is almost always something happening, or something I feel SHOULD be happening. My husband lets me lead until I start dangling off the edge and then he grabs me before I fall. He never lets me fall. He is a great husband, an amazing father and he provides the necessary balance that makes our family whole. Also, he’s hot. I will hereby refer to him as “Cody.”

Since my girls may not remember everything that goes on during these early days, I want to make sure some of the memories are preserved. They should know that some days they make us very happy, and some days they make mommy want to take a bath...with a hair dryer.